Obsessive

so being unemployed leaves time for all sorts of things. today i had the pleasure of sitting in the nissan dealership for two hours waiting for my oil to be changed.

i took along my copy of Artful Blogging. i hadn't had a chance to read it yet so i figured today would be the perfect opportunity.

while reading it, something was laid on my heart that has been once before in the last week. i am still unsure if it is god or not. i am not sure if it is just noise or my own thoughts popping up. we will see. i am not putting too much thought into it until i am sure that it is something important, from god, that is meant to be.

you see, i have come to terms that i have an obsessive personality.

yes, i know a shocker huh.

i used to think it was such a bad thing.  

for example here is some evidence of the obsessiveness.

yes, it's a word, for now.

number one:

i drink way too much of this. way too much.

like completely obsessed with it.

i mean you shouldn't look at your card statments and have the word starbucks appear more than any other.

oops.

the sad thing, we have a keurig.

and it makes great coffee.

i'm just obsessed with starbucks.

i can't get enough.

the taste the smell the cup.

 lol.

i know ridiculous.

number two:

i have entirely too many journals.

i buy them like they are candy.

i start journaling certain things in each of them and they just multiply.

i mean seriously how much writing can one person do.

i just love em.

number three:

i am so obsessed with anything fashion and home decor related.

i buy oodles and oodles of books and magazines.

(these are only ones purchased in the last month)

i just can't get enough.

i love to look at all of the different styles and ideas.

i could read about fashion and home decor for hours.

obsessed i tell ya.

number four:

i am obsessed with reading.

i mean this is my bedside table.

 no one can read 5 books at once.

no one.

really.

just retarded.

number five:

i go to flea markets way too much!

 i've been on a bit of a hiatus..

but it used to be like every weekend.

the apartment is FULL.

i mean full of flea market finds.

total obsession.

and people i could go on and on and on.

i just get so hooked on stuff and love and it and overdo it and just can't get enough.

am i alone?

please say no.

:)

i usually think it's a bad thing.

my mom once told me though that it's not.

she has said that's what she loves about me.

she said that when i love something i love it BIG.

i pour my heart into it and go at it no holds bar.

when i think about it, some of the people i love most in my life have obsessive personalities.

i guess it will be a blessing as long as i use it in the right way.

so what i'm getting at with all of this is, i will not let my obsessive personality take over with big life decisions.

i will seek god.

pray until i know for sure.

wait on him.

so i will let things simmer at this point in my life.

i will wait to be sure it's right.

so the little epiphany i had at the nissan dealership,

i will give it time to become more.

in the meantime,

i will work on lightening up on my other little obsessions.

especially the ones my hubby hates.

(umm starbucks)

lol

ash...