Wednesday, September 14, 2011

blog your heart ...

so while checking a few blogs today,
i stumbled across a challenge.

it is called blog your heart.
and a lot of ladies in the creative world
 have participated in it on their blogs today.

it is kinda like a little movement to be real.
and NOT feel guilty about it.

they all got very very personal.
some people talked about loss, death, troubled marriages,
troubled children, and troubled faith.

while i may not get too deep,
i am going to give a crack at this little challenge.

here goes...

i am at a good place right now.
i say surprisingly because of the circumstances.
a few years ago, under these circumstances,
i would have fallen apart,
lost it, not been able to cope.
right now, i am feeling great, awesome actually.
i feel like i am going to be just fine.
i am fine.
i feel like i am finally letting god be god.
and learning to trust.
i feel like im getting rid of all the wrong people and things
and clinging to all the right ones.
i feel like i'm growing.
it's a great feeling.

my marriage has changed quite a lot in the last month or so.
shane and i have taken on a different marriage it seems.
life has forced me to rely on him and trust him and depend on him.
you wouldn't believe how happy that makes a man.
he is learning to listen and follow directions. :)
you would believe how happy that makes a woman.
we are definately gettin the hang of this marriage thing.
i think we are doin a pretty good job.

i love my god.
i love him so much.
he is so good.
i often don't give him enough credit.
enough time.
enough worship and praise.
i yearn to be in his presence.
in his will.
i want to have a testimony.
i want to be able to relate to people
about how he has worked in my life.
i am giving him all control.

i miss my family TONS lately.
i miss my brothers.
i miss us sitting around the living room.
making fun of my parents.
venting about my parents.
i miss my parents.
i miss being able to run to my mom with every little thing.
i miss my dad making a joke of everything.
i miss meeting up with everyone at the kitchen table
and laughing and just having some QT.
i love shane and i's little fam of 2
but boy do i miss my other family of 5.
just that everyday stuff with them.
i miss em.

i have been emotional lately.
crying about the stupidest things.
like the pet commercial with that sarah mccloglin song.
like today i cried during supernanny.
i mean just crying for the most random reasons.
the other day shane was like,
what is the deal?
i don't know.
is it hormones.
is it just ridiculousness.
who knows.
who cares.
it's okay to let it out every now and again.
even if it's during supernanny.

been learning to find joy in the little things lately.
feel like so many peeps keep waiting for the next step,
the next phase.
lately, i have been taught to slow down.
to ALWAYS find something to be happy about.
to look forward to.
to notice the little things.
the tiny things.
the things that always seem to go unnoticed.

okay so that is my part of the challenge.
on to other things:
vera, me, and lots of other close friends
are heading out to scrapfest tomorrow.
yes we are such geeks.
my car is full to the brim.
i am so excited to have some time with the ladies.
to be able to drink lots of starbucks and hopefully make
lots of pretty things.
i will post pics when i get home.

hope you are all signing up for our holiday event.
if you haven't get to it people!!!!

see ya soon!

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